Navigating this new normal

I took a quick trip this past weekend to visit my godson and his family. It was a wonderful visit, and I had a wonderful time. But when it was time to leave, one of those tidal waves of grief washed over me.

Even the happiest of occasions without Cecil can quickly become overwhelmingly sad.

I am really glad that I went to visit. I love my family, and spending time with them makes the empty spaces inside me feel smaller for a while.

But the aftermath is hard. I was desperately sad when I got home on Sunday, so I distracted myself by cooking. Yesterday, there was no dodging the big sad.

I know it has to be this way. The grief is and will be my constant companion for a while. I just have to keep on moving through it, believing that I will eventually be less fragile and easily bowled over by the waves of grief.

I know that I need to start working on my next book. Editing is fine, but it is not the same as writing. When I can get lost in the story I am creating is when I am the most myself again.

As I was editing last night, I was recognizing the threads in the current book that need to be picked up in the next book. I'm sure I don't remember all of them this morning, so I will have to go over what I did last night.

But that is okay. Taking temporary refuge in a world of my imagination is a coping strategy I have used my entire life.

And just like that, I am reminded that I am still me. Just a little battered and burdened by grief. Like the blue sky and sunshine hiding behind the clouds in the picture, I will shine again. Believing that is necessary to keep on keeping on.