Stormy Weather

The heat and humidity almost always lead to thunderstorms for someone in the greater New Orleans area. It is our turn here in Metairie today. The best thing about these "afternoon monsoons" as Cecil used to call them, is typically, they pass quickly. I wish the emotional storms in life passed quickly as well.

Emotional storms, for me at least, are more like hurricanes. They batter you for days, and then when you think you can finally take a deep breath, they come back at you from the opposite direction.

These last few years have been a seemingly unending emotional storm for me. Since Cecil's cancer was diagnosed, it has been one band of storms after another. The diagnosis, and his early suffering from the chemo aftereffects. Hurricane Ida. Cecil responding well to chemo, and hope in the eye of the storm. COVID. Chemo stops working. New chemo regimen. Cecil gets sicker. Pleural effusion. Hospice. Death. Grief.

Every time I think I am about to rise up from my knees, another thing knocks me down. This time, it was the back spasms. I keep trying to believe that the storms will end. My logical brain tells me that this setback is minor compared to what I have been through in the last few years.

But I just want a break. I want a string of good weeks with no disappointments. Or at least a nice surprise to offset the disappointments.

For now, I am going to go to the store and buy ingredients and cook favorite dishes for the 4th of July tomorrow. Still doing everything I know how to do to lift my spirits.

One of these days, the rounds of storms will be over and I will feel the sun again. Until then, I just have to keep on keeping on.